It’s hard to believe this is all really happening, yet it most certainly is. Here is my fairy-tale romance come to real life.
It started in late August of 2018 when I received a ‘like’ from a woman on Match.com. I had been on the site for a few months and up until that point, the experience had been nothing short of a debacle. I found profile after profile unappealing. There were spelling and grammatical errors abound (i.e.-’I enjoy down heel skiing!’) and clear incompatibility with woman after woman. I found the whole online dating process both entertaining (meaning you have to laugh or you’ll cry) and discouraging up until the point I received that ‘like’.
Before I tell the rest of the story though, it’s important to share a bit of the past. I was married from 1996-2003. My lifelong dream of becoming a father was undoubtedly the highlight for me during that time period. It cannot be understated how appreciative I am that my former partner helped make my deep-rooted desire of fatherhood become reality.
As far as the marriage itself goes, there were certainly good times and I have countless positive memories from those years. Alas, there were also times during the latter portion that left me with some mental scars. In the aftermath of divorce I was hurt, confused, and deeply leery of ever being married again.
I answered the ‘like’ with a message through Match.com, and we exchanged a handful of emails through the site before meeting in person. I hadn’t learned much about her and I learned later that was by design, as she was an individual who preferred getting to know men in person. All I really knew about her up to that point was that her name was Dove, she looked lovely via photos, and she had an intriguing profile.
The first date was set for Friday, September 7th at a coffee shop in Madison. I spotted her sitting at a table immediately upon entering and my initial thought was, ‘My God, she’s beautiful! I hope I don’t screw this up!’
Conversation flowed from the start. I discovered she was equally good at both talking and listening (a pair of traits that should never be underestimated in any relationship). I learned she is the executive director of an organization that helps adults with cognitive and physical challenges and as she was telling me about her work, I thought of Tyler and knew she would embrace him as a part of her life if we ever became a couple. This of course was very important to me.
That first meet went three hours and I had no idea that much time had passed until I turned around, shocked to find it was dark outside. We parted ways with a quick hug and a second date set for the following weekend.
There were several long emails exchanged over the course of the following week, and they got deep rather quickly. In short, I felt I knew this woman far more than expected before I even saw her in person that second time. After that second date (7-8 hours together) I drove home thinking, ‘WHAT IS THIS?’ I didn’t know that answer, other than I knew we had definite potential for something special, magical, and incomparable.
Shortly thereafter our Match profiles came down and things continued to intensify. Dove was in Utah visiting a friend on my birthday (Oct. 8th), but our relationship moved to an even higher level that weekend, despite the fact we weren’t physically together. She wrote me an email that echoed many thoughts and feelings I was experiencing, but had yet to fully share. It was without a doubt the single most incredible message I’ve ever received, and I will cherish it forever. After I read it, I knew we were headed for lofty heights together.
Fast forward to Thanksgiving, as I met Dove’s family over the course of that weekend (they were visiting from out East). By this time our relationship had grown to the point where we were living together, and her family welcomed me into their lives with open arms. It was unequivocally clear we were a match in every way imaginable, and marriage started to become a topic of discussion.
At this point I should add that yes, I fully realize things moved quickly. I recognize this as a concern for others who don’t want to see either of us hurt. I hope I can ease those concerns by sharing that we communicate exceptionally well, we are in touch with who we are individually, and loved/were comfortable with who we were before we ever met in person. I could go on and on but perhaps it’s best summarized as follows: When you know, you know.
By December marriage talk had increased, and Dove picked out an engagement ring per my request. It arrived via mail in mid December and thus began an interesting week in our lives together. Dove knew I had the ring in hand and she wanted it. Badly (believe me, 'badly' is understating this!). She was on ‘high alert’ status, knowing a proposal was imminent. I had to come up with a way to surprise her despite the high alert status. What’s a guy to do in such a situation?
On Saturday, Dec. 22nd we took a walk. I used the destination of the library as a disguise for my real intent. I had a spot for the proposal in mind: The locks used to level the water for boats entering the lake from the river (and vice versa). There’s a walkway that extends out into the water there, with several benches along the way. Since we share a love for the beauty of the outdoors and there was a wonderfully scenic view of the lake from that last bench, I felt it was a lovely location for a proposal.
I knew the locks were on the way amidst the one hour walk to the library, but I wasn’t sure just exactly where they were located. I found myself looking for them to my right over and over, wondering when they’d arrive within eyesight. Finally, after about 45 minutes, I saw them. My heart started racing as I tried to prepare the words I’d say when we got to the end of the walkway. I was fortunate that Dove was being so talkative at that particular time so I didn’t have to add much to the conversation as we approached the locks!
When we got to the end of the walkway Dove sat down on the bench and I said some nice and intimate things that will stay between us. I can share though that I was crying and she was as well. In fact, I’m getting choked up all over again remembering that moment for this blog piece. I got down on one knee and after she said yes, I was able to pop back up (miraculously, considering the current state of my knees!) with only minimal difficulty.
Outside of her saying yes of course, my favorite part of the day came as we completed our walk toward the library. Dove repeatedly burst into giggles and would sort of shake all over as she did so. My future bride was clearly delirious with joy, and I don’t know that I’ve ever enjoyed seeing someone’s pure exuberance for life as much as I did in those moments.
I am cherishing the day to day moments and the fact there is now an incredible and incomparable woman who will be my partner until I take my last breath. We will be wed come July of this year. I really didn’t believe this day would ever come again, yet here I am. As my buddy Mike said via text after he visited us recently, I am a lucky man. Lucky, blessed, and indescribably happy that I have found ‘her’!
In closing, if you see me out and about I ask that you please don’t pinch me, because if this really is all a dream, I don’t want it to ever end.
And Dove, since I know you’ll be reading this, I want to add that I love, cherish, adore, and admire you. Thank you honey. Thank you for making my dream come true. I cannot wait to be your husband!
