Soulmates

Soulmate-A person with whom you have an immediate connection the moment you meet--a connection so strong you are drawn to them in a way you have never experienced before.

Usually the definition above applies to one's romantic partner. For me, it was different. My soulmate is my oldest son.

I met my soulmate in a Janesville apartment in the spring of '95. I had gone out with his mother however many times before, and now she decided it was time for me to meet her children, so I drove from Beloit to her apartment to meet them.

Her daughter (age 11) was home sick from school that day. Her son was also home. He was four years old.

I wasn't there long before I sat down on the couch. A minute or so after that, this little boy had positioned himself with his back to me and he was walking backwards toward me with a book in his hands. It was obvious he wanted to sit on my lap and have me read to him, so I picked him up and did just that. Shortly thereafter I noticed his mother staring at us with her mouth agape.

I was immediately concerned that I was doing something upsetting to her, so I paused from reading the book to him and said, 'Am I doing something wrong?' She said, 'No. It's just that he doesn't do that with strangers. Ever.'

A special relationship was born.

My oldest son was born with cognitive delays. When I met him, he was a lot like a two year old boy developmentally. He has never had a specific diagnosis (i.e.-autism) and I've never thought there really was a need for one. His brain simply works differently than most. It takes him longer to grasp some concepts, other concepts are quite difficult for him to understand, and critical thinking skills have always been problematic for him.

I fell in love with that little boy over time and after I married his mother, I adopted both of my wife's children and shared with them my surname and unconditional love.

Over the years I have witnessed more landmark moments in his life than I can count. Some of those moments had added significance, considering his cognitive challenges. Each and every time he has reached one, I've cried tears of pride and joy.

One of those moments occurred in early October of 2012. You see, my boy made one of his dreams come true when he moved into his own apartment. He has proven he can handle the responsibility, as it's now been over a year and he continues to live there.

Today he is a lot like the third graders I teach when it comes to his cognitive abilities. He works part time, takes the bus around town when need be, does his own chores/laundry, and loves life and the important people he has in it. He is as friendly of an individual as you'll ever meet, and you may find yourself being given a hug for no reason when talking with him sometimes, just because that's who he is.

 To say he loves his independence would be a vast understatement and he is so proud that he'll tell random people when we're at the grocery store or out to eat together, with statements out of the blue such as, 'I have my own apartment!' The excited tone in his voice remains a year plus later and it'll probably be there 20 and 30 years from now too.

I love all of my children equally, unconditionally, and immeasurably. With my oldest son though, there's the added feeling that I was just *meant* to find him in this crazy world, and that he was meant to find me.

I know many, many good people in life. Some of those people have said things such as, 'He is so lucky to have you' to me over the years. While I appreciate the compliment and understand its nature, I feel like they have it backwards. You see, I'm the lucky one to have him. Sure, I've taught him many things about life, from his ABC's to playing baseball and much more. However, I can say this without hesitation:

Tyler has taught me more about life than anyone I've ever known. Oh yes, I am most definitely the lucky one to have found him.

If you know him, you already know how special he is. If you have yet to meet him, I hope that maybe I've helped you learn how this world is a better place because he's in it.